... and a gun to go with it

I was re-reading this post, and the comments, and I realized that I'd be ashamed and embarrassed if my bosses read it. Not because I'm chicken (I'm not), nor because I said things I didn't mean (I didn't). I intended to be humorously snarky, but I just sounded like an ass (to myself at least). Because I called them out when I really should have called myself out. I used them as examples of an issue I've personally been struggling with. What does it mean to be politically liberal? I know many of the definitions, that's not what I mean. But how do I manifest it in my daily life? Do I choose to spend my money at businesses that act in accordance with my beliefs? Do I leave my car at home whenever possible? Do I always recycle, even when it's a pain in the ass?

Well, I have given up some things that I enjoy(ed), but usually only when it's not inconvenient to me. Like I gave up McDonald's fast food. Primarily I gave it up because of environmental and worker-treatment related issues. But I still ate at Taco Bell. Why? Well I had some reasons based on false assumptions (which have since been proven false, big surprise), but mainly it was because I didn't really like McDonald's and I really like Taco Bell. It wasn't a hardship.

Okay - here's another one that pains me. I loved LOVED Chuck Taylor Converse sneakers in high school and collage. I got off of them after that, but now I'm on a kick again. I wanted some pairs. Well, in looking for where I could buy some, I came across the fact that they're now owned and produced by Nike (am I the only one that didn't know this)? I actually love Nike shit, but have flat out refused to support that company for ages. So, of course, upon learning this fact, what I did was ... I went out and bought the Chucks anyway. Yeah - 2 pairs. Why? Because I really wanted them. I love them. Kinda. I'm also kinda sad about them. Because I can't claim I didn't know any better. I did know better. So I made a choice to break a long-standing boycott that I was quietly proud of so that I could have some sneakers. So the price of my conviction was about $60. Yay me.

My bosses don't read my blog, but I offer up a public apology. It's always easier to judge others than self-examine. They were a superficial symbol for my growing dissatisfaction with my own actions. When I say I believe a thing, but continue to behave in a contrary manner, where does that leave me? Am I liberal only in conversation and when I vote? Or do I live consciously by making choices I'm not embarrassed by? It's not about SUVs or Chuck Taylor Converse or McDonald's. It's indicative of a larger slippery slope. It's about aligning my actions with my beliefs.

I no longer eat at any of the major fast food chains. I try hard to support local businesses instead of huge corporations. I'm not going to get rid of my Chucks, though - I really do love them.