it's my party! i'll cry if i want to!

-
Sample # 1 ...
Cody: Okay, next you're going to do [fill in the blank].
Me (with extreme dubiousness): You're kidding. Seriously?

Sample #2 ...
Me: Oh my god. I don't think I can do this, Cody.
Cody: You say that everytime; c'mon!
Me: Yeah, but this time I really mean it.
(This repeats about 3-4x/session, and I'm completely serious every single time. For some reason, he doesn't believe me.)

My sessions are filled with cussing and groaning and strange pterodactyl-like noises that somehow make me feel better. And humming. Humming fools me into thinking I'm calm and in control. I swear, I must seem like some CrAzY cAt LaDy*. Luckily I have lost all regard and self-consciousness for how I appear to others while in the gym.

Finally ...
Me: Does anyone complain as much as me?
Cody: I'm not going to answer that.
(HA! This cracks me up the most.)

*This makes me remember that I told Cody that I used let my cat eat of my mouth. (I know - gross; whatever.) I mean it's true, but why in the world would I say it? It's freakin' hilarious how my defenses drop when I'm at the gym. Working out apparently makes me giddy. And crazy. Oh, and totally hot.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

well, just don't

-
On an almost cellular level, I sincerely abhor the new catch-all catch-phrase when someone thinks they're making a clever point: "I'm just saying." Or - even worse - without the pronoun: "Just saying." Oh, really ? Is *that* what you're just doing? Saying? Well, I'm just punching you in the nose, you self-satisfied fuckwad. I despise it. It has this air of undeserved smug finality, as if god itself has made this person the mouthpiece of the final say in the matter. Always with the implied silence of an ellipsis, as if daring you to disagree with their obviously airtight summation. Oh, I see! If it's you that's saying, well - that's it, then! Case closed, everybody! He just said! Please don't just say, "Just saying." It's rude. Say what you want to say, and then, if it's a spirited discussion, maybe back it up with a few well-reasoned points. Then let others say. It totally works.
Read more

... and a gun to go with it

-
I was re-reading this post , and the comments, and I realized that I'd be ashamed and embarrassed if my bosses read it. Not because I'm chicken (I'm not), nor because I said things I didn't mean (I didn't). I intended to be humorously snarky , but I just sounded like an ass (to myself at least). Because I called them out when I really should have called myself out. I used them as examples of an issue I've personally been struggling with. What does it mean to be politically liberal? I know many of the definitions, that's not what I mean. But how do I manifest it in my daily life? Do I choose to spend my money at businesses that act in accordance with my beliefs? Do I leave my car at home whenever possible? Do I always recycle, even when it's a pain in the ass? Well, I have given up some things that I enjoy(ed), but usually only when it's not inconvenient to me. Like I gave up McDonald's fast food. Primarily I gave it up because of environmental an...
Read more

de plane! de plane!

-
So I wanna get some more tattoos. I've held off for years since my first/last ones (back in college) ... not because I didn't catch the bug ('cause oh I did), but because of my CAREER. Well, fuck! Fuck THAT. I figure, what the hell? I'm not acting, I still want the tattoos... done deal. I can regret it later. That reminds me of an old BFL joke: Leaping off cliff in the throes of carpe-diem-ness: "No regrets! NO REGRETS!!" Realizing 2 seconds later that you just leapt off a fucking cliff: "Regrets! Oh, regrets!" Anyhoo ... tattoo. Where? What? Advice welcome. I have some ideas, but what I really want is someone really cool and intuitive and talented to interview me and then design me something. Does that happen? Do people do that without you having to be a millionaire? Many things I'd have once considered tattooing have been ruined by others. Things that inspire/intrigue me but that have been co-opted by or are so closely associat...
Read more