Virtual Hyperbole

I had a terrible audition. Not terrible horrible, but terribly uninspiring, which any actor will tell you is worse. I'm guessing directors will tell you that too. Anyway, admidst my relative boringness came a cool reminder of why I love the puzzle of working on good plays with smart and talented people. I had read the play thoroughly once and skimmed it once or twice more. And I worked on the one scene a bunch, alone and with Monkey's help. I can tell you from years of experience that the scene is funny; you can just tell. It's written funny - the rhythms, the spikes, the language, the pace - but it didn't seem that way coming out of my mouth. I knew that it was supposed to be, but couldn't figure out why it wasn't . Frustrating as hell but I figured, ah fuck it; maybe I'm wrong. Just do it faster and bigger, that makes everything funny! I was not wrong. Which became clear in an infinity of awkwardness while I read the scene for the director. I was not funn...

So I have another audition tomorrow. Funny, yeah? ( How's that no-acting thing going? Oh, good, ya know; getting by.) A different show, but the same company; they cast for their whole season all at once. It's a director I've always admired but never worked with, a playwright that I really like a ton, and the theatre (of which I'm a fan) is blocks from my home. That's what they call a win-win, people. They called me in for 2 different roles. After reading the play (which is really good - another win), I did something I've never ever done before in the history of auditioning ... I told them I was not interested in reading for one of the roles, and that I wouldn't be preparing those sides. It's not a bad part, but it didn't intrigue or stimulate me. In fact, the thought of auditioning for this role and and the small possibility that I could be cast in it was making me feel like ditching the audition altogether, even though I really like the ot...

My cure for the common audition is a whiskey. Despite my ambivalence, it's still the best thing to silence the minor demons in my head who assure me that I should've this or shouldn't've that . Get thee behind me with a Makers in front of me. Also. You're supposed to bring a headshot and resume to an audition. Oh right. This I remembered just in time to print a resume, dig through my photos, realize I don't have a stash of current pics because I didn't bother to replenish because of the whole "giving up acting" thing I've got going on, remember that I have a high-res scan of my pic, thank Athena that I just changed the toner in my printer, print a pic, head out the door, and arrive just barely in time and sweating. I did not freak out, fall down or throw up. It went well. I like acting; it's like a favorite pair of super comfy jeans.

That's how it's marked in my calendar; it's how I've always marked it in my calendar. The notation hasn't changed, but I have. I haven't performed in a full-length show in over a year, and haven't auditioned for anything in just about 2 years. I feel ... ambivalent. I'm not sure that I really truly understood the nature of ambilvalence until now. I've ususally used that word either (a.) to describe something akin to reluctance, (b.) when I couldn't care less, or (c.) in order to avoid commitment. No longer will I disrespect this excellent and perfect word. AUD. Nobody is more surprised than I.

Multi-tasking - much like swimming pool sex - is overrated. It seems like it'd be a good idea, but it's really not that great. Perhaps even unpleasant or harmful. More time is wasted in multi-tasking than is wasted in water-cooler conversations, for instance. Certainly more than than is being wasted right now in my taking a full-on break from work and typing this post. This isn't sour grapes from someone who sucks at multi-tasking; I'm actually "good" at it (however you measure that crap). It's just a shitty way to get quality work done efficiently. Are you, too, an excellent multi-tasker? Does it make you, too, feel like you never really ever get anything done? Try this: take your 8-hr. desk-job workday and break it up into eight 1-hr. segments. During each hour, do something on your to-do list. Seriously. You might be surprised. For those of us at email-dependent jobs, I suggest the following. Either: dedicate 1 morning slot and 1 afternoon slot for em...

I don't diet - there's no point, I end up obsessing about food which I don't actually do usually - but I am watching it. I'd like to lose "the last elusive 10," and I know I'll just feel better. Ya know - run faster, jump higher, live with greater abandon, practice zen-like patience, carpe diem, et al. I DO NOT LIKE: self-deprivation. Let's face it, my kith. I like to eat. I like to drink good whiskey and good wine and the occasional excellent mixed drink. "Apertif" and "digestif" are 2 words that I am thrilled to have (and use) in my personal lexicon. I absolutely adore epic meals the span the length of an entire evening or mid-day, when you get just as drunk off of food and conversation as off of wine. I DO LIKE: weighing consequences. I don't mind that, after one of those aforementioned glorious epic dinners with Monkey on Friday, I woke up in a cold sweat several times through the night because my body was working ...