Virtual Hyperbole

I love inside jokes. The whole concept of them. I mean - the jokes I don't always (ie. almost never) get. And I for sure think that inside jokes should hardly ever (ie. never) be aired in a public forum. * But I'm talking about those private inside jokes that aren't usually even jokes --- they're more a shorthand for "I love you, I get you, we have a shared experience that means something pretty cool and we both know what it is, even if we could never explain why if pressed." Phrases and exchanges that are not meant to exclude outsiders but to share a wink with insiders. They are not even meant to be overheard by others; indeed, often you might be mildly (but not unpleasantly) embarrassed to realize you were witnessed in such an exchange. Usually they involve a small group (e.g. a couple or my mom, dad & me), and in rarer circumstances a larger group that has a very close and long-term bond (e.g. Bald Faced Lie, or a football team, I guess). When I am acci...

STATS 17-Oct 2006 22-Nov 2006 23-Dec 2006 22-Jan 2007 Weight 166 lbs. 166 lbs. 162 lbs. 157 lbs. Body Fat 34.5% 33.5% 31% 28% Fat Mass / Lean Mass 57 lbs. / 109 lbs. 55.5 lbs. / 110.5 lbs. 50 lbs / 112 lbs. 44 lbs. / 113 lbs. TESTS 17-Oct 2006 22-Nov 2006 23-Dec 2006 22-Jan 2007 Sit & Reach 9” 1’2” 1'3” 1'5" Sit-ups 20 28 32 32 Push-ups 15 26 33 18 Pull-ups 15 29 23 26 T-test 14.97 sec. 14.22 sec. 13.62 sec. 13.60 sec. Plank 59 sec. 1 min. 22 sec. 1 min. 45 sec. 2 min. 8 sec. Wow! So I've lost 9 lbs overall, but I've lost freakin' THIRTEEN POUNDS OF FAT! And the push-ups look like they went down, but no my friend ... I graduated to real push-ups, so I have now set a new baseline. The pull-ups were up from last month but still down from 2 months ago. Weird. I can only assume I was cheating prior to last month. My new goals & promises: =>In 3 months, below 150 w/ body fat at 25%. =>Comfortable in a size 10 again. =>Up the intensity on the 3x/week...

SPF-1: No Protection -- Chili Cook Off WHEN: Monday, January 22nd @ 6pm WHERE: Theatre Off Jackson, on 7th just south of Jackson in the Intl District HOW MUCH: $10 at the door gets you inside, warm, eating chili & voting for your fave. An add'l $5 gets you a bottomless beer or wine cup. No-host bar for hard liquor. WHY: I'm on the Steering Committee for this solo performance festival, and also directing Shoogie's show in it. This is an early kickoff event & fundraiser for what will become a yearly festival. This year's line-up is really exciting! Let your budget (or lack thereof) be your guide ... live auction, silent auction & raffle for cool items to fit all budgets. Or just come give us love and eat some chili; that's cool, too!

How I know we're (mostly) adults now: We "hosted" (at a bar) our joint b-day party starting at 7pm last night, and the first few guests showed up ... at 7pm!! My ex-husband and various other exxes of attendees were there and it wasn't awkward for anyone. No one got wasted. Shoogie and I were the very last to leave and I was still in bed by 11:30pm. I was in, alert, and ready for an 8am meeting this morning. What still gives me hope for our last vestiges of carefree youth: Ass-grabbing strangers and friends alike. The playful yet unyielding focus on the extremely nice tits of our server. Shoogie and I were the last to leave, and had to cover the leftover bill from people who forgot to pay or underestimated their share.

My ass-kicking friend (& best coworker in the world, by the way) made me this "cake" for my office b-day celebration. God bless her & them for letting me stick to my minimal sweets resolutions this early in the year.

Oops - I forgot to tell you that no animals were harmed in the making of that last pictoral. It was staged, and I am a trained professional (*snort*). And also - I do NOT wear that headgear when I work out. Seriously. I don't! Shut up.

1. A typical day.                             2. Uh-oh, I'm falling! 3. Ooh, bad luck!                             4. Thank god for my safety helmet!

9:30am Early morning crank call. A whispering woman who didn't want to wake up her boyfriend asked me to guess who she was. I hate that shit, but I stayed on the line because it was my b-day and I thought it might be a friend of mine fucking with me and I wanted to act like a good sport. She knew my name and she did tell me her(?) name (which I didn't recognize, and which I won't disclose here because I suspect it was false). She said we had mutual friends; that she's never felt this way about a woman before; and did I want to hear about the dream she'd just had about me? No, thank you. *click* Lucky me. Jesus. What, am I 19 again? 1:15pm Our neighbor Don came by when we were almost ready to ditch for the weekend. He was going into shock and needed sugar. Holy moly. Knowing nothing about diabetes, we had no idea whether that sounded right or not. We took him at his word, and Shoogie cut up a pear and gave it to him immediately, and gave him the rest of our sta...

About a half-year ago, I spoke of my college wish/dream book and my friend LMB who still kept her book and updated it on a regular basis. A few years ago, she and her husband added an item to the book that is within spitting distance of coming true: This is a very delicate email to write and a very personal plea. After 1 & 1/2 years of searching, we think we might have found the perfect building for our rare/used bookstore and P.I. firm. It is located right on the border of two Chicago neighborhoods, Morgan Park and Beverly. It is right across the street from a little green park and a Metra Station. It is within blocks of the Beverly Arts Center, the police station, a post office and a high school. The building is beautiful and perfect for what we need. However, the downpayment is just a few thousand dollars out of our reach. We need to raise approx $11,000 and we think we can scrape up about $7,000. FYI, she did not ask me to post this; I am posting it of my own free will because...