3 burning questions

1. Now that we're not kids anymore, is there an adult alternative to the terms "boyfriend" and "girlfriend"? Partner = too clinical. Significant other = blech. Lover = ew. Sweetheart = it's what I currently use, but it's cutesy.

2. What's with drooling in my sleep on a regular basis? It's new, and I don't approve.

3. Am I the only women left who bikini waxes but doesn't want the "landing strip" look? Just clean up the natural "V" please.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Lady, you crack me up. What does one call one's not-yet-ex-husband -father-of-one's-children? "This is my... my... my insignificant other."
Basil said…
1. That's a tough one. I always start with their name and then immediately start making out with them. That tends to clear things up right away.

2. Are you dreaming of Justin Timeberlake? Because I hear he's taking sexy back. I mean, I'm not a doctor...

3. Um, I'll have to do some research on this one and get back to you. What?! It's SCIENCE!
Christopher said…
1. I've heard older people use the terms "manfriend" and "ladyfriend", but they're, like, 70 or something, so I wouldn't recommend that, unless you live in FL or AZ.

2. You may be occasionally developing a mild sinus blockage that prevents you from breathing through your nose when sleeping. People in that situation who don't develop full-blown sleep apnia will frequently become mouth-breathers when their sinuses are blocked, hence the puddle of wet saliva on your pillow in the a.m. Give your schnoz a good blow before you go to bed, or in extreme cases, get one of those Indian nose-washer thingies and use it before sleepy time.

3. I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about, and I'm just going to pretend I didn't read that.
the beige one said…
1) Pinklesnuff.

2) Check out Comte's comments re: apnia (I got it and I need to get it checked), also recommend those dorky nose strips.

3) I sincerely doubt you're alone. Afact, I know you aren't. What do you mean, TMI, you freakin' asked.
Unknown said…
1. "Sweet thang."
2. Basil's right. Dreaming of Justin Timberlake.
3. Landing strip? That's so passé. It's all hedge mazes nowadays. Like an English garden. Or those Mayan petroglyphs from Chariots of the Gods
Lively said…
I would like to advocate for sweetheart, with dearheart coming in second. As long as you don't say it cutsey, it's not. It's apt.

Drooling, like shit, happens. I think "just get over it."

To comment on your waxing situation would be to reveal too much about myself, but yes, simple clean-up. Please.
Anonymous said…
1. So then "main squeeze", "soul mate", "old man/old lady" and "beau" are now 'out'? No! What? Really? How about "live-in escort?" "perma-date?" "alarm-clock?" "warden?" "buffalo?" "cuckold"? No? How about "my 'guy'" and make sure they hear the quotations and italics?
2. I thought drooling while sleeping happened when you didn't mean to fall asleep but were so damn tired you did (reading a book, watching a play, studying in the library, at the dentists)
3. Go to tomford.com You'll feel downright simian.
-your Hanky Panky girlfriend, DAF
(egg) said…
1. My fave of all these is beau. Has a charming olde tyme ring to it. Buffalo is a close second.

2. Ah, yes. thanks for reminding me. Justin Timberlake. Rahr! Indeed.

3. What can I say that you all haven't said? But now that DAF has helped me procure the perfect undies EVER, I might prefer the closer cropped look.

I adore you all for indulging me!

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