As if real life weren't challenging enough ...

-
There are several "reality" shows that I and Shoogie are addicted to. Let me name them, in order of ability to take over my life:

The Amazing Race (CBS)
THE! AMAZING! RACE! Eleven teams of 2 race around the world for a cool mil. Every leg, whoever is last to the pitstop is booted. People, yes. I know it's not as good as it used to be. But it's amazing and it's a race around the world. It's not reliant on "judges" who swing the vote to keep someone tv-worthy on the air. Sometimes "the luck of the evil" wins (with due homage to Miss Alli). Just like life.

Top Chef (Bravo)
This show is great because chefs are already notorious for their egos, their lack of flexibility, and their diva fits. Also the judges are chefs, who ... well, see point #1. They do not suffer fools, and toss some good tv-makers off because they act like dicks (rather than keeping them for the same reason). Amen, people! That behavior should not be rewarded (except, of course, with a tv show). "I'm not your bitch, bitch!" "You are a tool and a douchebag." Fucking brill.

Flavor of Love (VH1)
I tried to convince myself at first that I detested this show, but it was an unfair and horrible lie. I hope the show will forgive me, because I wanna get back together. Do you know this show? Flav-o-Flav (or how-the-hell-ever you spell his name), he of "yeeeeeeeah, boyeeeeeee" fame, is looking for true love after his (presumably traumatic) split with (former flavor of love of his life) Brigitte Nielsen (who he met on another reality show that I can't believe I have never seen, The Surreal Life). Flavor of Love is like The Bachelor, which is boring, except that Flav is the bachelor. Somehow this makes it AWESOME. And now I have the tiniest yet undeniable crush on Flav. He kind of a goddamn sweetheart. The best? He still wears those huge clocks around his neck. Shit, my boyeeeee plays tennis with that shit on. Hi-LAR-ious.

There are others, oh my yes:
=> Project Runway
=> Celebrity Fit Club
=> America's Top Model
=> The Mole (r.i.p.)

You see, for Christmas my parents gave me and Shoogs the best/worst gift you can give a couple with our sense of humor & absurdity (some would call it laziness, but I wouldn't deign to get off the couch to dignify that with a response). This gift was ... cable.

SSSSSHHHHHRRRRRIIIIIEEEEEKKKKK!!!!!

I haven't had cable in many many years. What a vast wasteland of pointless disgusting beautiful vapid fascination. Gee-zus key-riced, I love it. Love. Love love love hate love. I could watch HGTV (the Home & Garden Network) or TLC (The Learning Channel), like, 27 hours a day. Except that wouldn't leave me time for the Puppy Bowl on Animal Planet or Dogg the Bounty Hunter on the Bounty Hunter Channel or any of those favorite friends I listed above.

The only problem is ... when do I have time to play my computer games?

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

well, just don't

-
On an almost cellular level, I sincerely abhor the new catch-all catch-phrase when someone thinks they're making a clever point: "I'm just saying." Or - even worse - without the pronoun: "Just saying." Oh, really ? Is *that* what you're just doing? Saying? Well, I'm just punching you in the nose, you self-satisfied fuckwad. I despise it. It has this air of undeserved smug finality, as if god itself has made this person the mouthpiece of the final say in the matter. Always with the implied silence of an ellipsis, as if daring you to disagree with their obviously airtight summation. Oh, I see! If it's you that's saying, well - that's it, then! Case closed, everybody! He just said! Please don't just say, "Just saying." It's rude. Say what you want to say, and then, if it's a spirited discussion, maybe back it up with a few well-reasoned points. Then let others say. It totally works.
Read more

... and a gun to go with it

-
I was re-reading this post , and the comments, and I realized that I'd be ashamed and embarrassed if my bosses read it. Not because I'm chicken (I'm not), nor because I said things I didn't mean (I didn't). I intended to be humorously snarky , but I just sounded like an ass (to myself at least). Because I called them out when I really should have called myself out. I used them as examples of an issue I've personally been struggling with. What does it mean to be politically liberal? I know many of the definitions, that's not what I mean. But how do I manifest it in my daily life? Do I choose to spend my money at businesses that act in accordance with my beliefs? Do I leave my car at home whenever possible? Do I always recycle, even when it's a pain in the ass? Well, I have given up some things that I enjoy(ed), but usually only when it's not inconvenient to me. Like I gave up McDonald's fast food. Primarily I gave it up because of environmental an...
Read more

de plane! de plane!

-
So I wanna get some more tattoos. I've held off for years since my first/last ones (back in college) ... not because I didn't catch the bug ('cause oh I did), but because of my CAREER. Well, fuck! Fuck THAT. I figure, what the hell? I'm not acting, I still want the tattoos... done deal. I can regret it later. That reminds me of an old BFL joke: Leaping off cliff in the throes of carpe-diem-ness: "No regrets! NO REGRETS!!" Realizing 2 seconds later that you just leapt off a fucking cliff: "Regrets! Oh, regrets!" Anyhoo ... tattoo. Where? What? Advice welcome. I have some ideas, but what I really want is someone really cool and intuitive and talented to interview me and then design me something. Does that happen? Do people do that without you having to be a millionaire? Many things I'd have once considered tattooing have been ruined by others. Things that inspire/intrigue me but that have been co-opted by or are so closely associat...
Read more