Worth an extra click.

Should I give up on having a life in the theater?
I've let go of my acting career, but it won't let go of me.
By Cary Tennis

Dear Cary,

I never explicitly grew up with the need to become an actress -- it was never a life's goal -- but nevertheless I graduated with a degree in theater (I had fallen in love with Shakespeare) and went on to audition for, be accepted in, and finish an MFA professional actor training program out West. I moved to New York like aspiring actors are supposed to do, got tired of temp jobs and being lonely and broke and living off of friends and not having an agent. I left after only five months to take advantage of another job opportunity in another state -- in a different field 180 degrees away from theater.

So here's what prompted me to hit the Send button: I went to a play last night, something I rarely do nowadays because it's a surefire way to unleash old demons. The theater is incredibly seductive -- or at least my memories of it are. Now I've been thinking nonstop about the creative life versus the present-day office life that I hate, and the breezy ways of actors versus the uptight lawyers in their suits who occupy my building. I'm in my mid-30s now, and for the last two years I've been working as the assistant to a very needy octogenarian real estate entrepreneur (and I have little patience with needy men). This is the last place I expected to be.
I know I'm romanticizing a lot of this (!), because I never did honestly see myself living the New York Actor's life in the first place, but I spent so much time -- a good 10 years -- in some kind of world of theater, be it either educational or, through my graduate school MFA program, professional, that I can't help feeling confused about where I think I want to belong. I know I don't feel like myself in an office.

... ... ... keep reading at Salon.com (it's worth it, at least I thought so) ... ... ...



30 to infinity

Remember how the hippies used to say, "Never trust anyone over thirty." Ya know what? It's pretty much kinda fucking true. Seriously, I wouldn't trust me if I were you. If you are under 25, listen up! Trust me on this one thing, and then never trust me again until you get through your Saturn Return ...

We judge you. Somtimes kindly and condescendingly, often unfairly and sarcastically. We judge your fool-assed posing, those ridiculous things you wear, and how you talk too loud so that you can prove to everyone how you don't care if anyone's listening or not. We don't really mean to judge, but ... see, you're young and we're not. And sometimes we envy you your foolish youth; and every so often, we crave to feel carefree, or to at least pretend it. Not that we'd ever wish to go back; hell no. Because sometimes we judge you for being a complete idiot. That's when we laugh wryly to ourselves and remember that age is the price you gotta pay for some semblance of wisdom.

That's really fucking annoying of me, isn't it? I know, I know. But just wait. You'll see.