i'm still standing

It's been a cRaZy month. First the detox, then there were (are) some upheavals on the workfront, then we decided to get a second cat, and now we're suddenly moving at the end of this month! It's been mostly good stuff, but big changes for me. Stress levels are rising, and although it's not bad stress, it's stress none-the-less. Stress without anxiety, if you see what I mean.

Anyway, my past patterns would indicate that this is exactly ripe for me to slack on my fitness & health routines, and to start eating a lot of comfort food. I'll be monitoring myself closely because I know it's a tendency of mine; however, so far - I'm doing really well (if I do say so myself). I've made sure to do some kind of exercise every day, and while I'm not skimping on my food desires I'm also not eating crap. I'm staying fairly balanced. This bodes well for me, I think.

If you'll allow me to pat myself on the back for a self-indulgent minute:

  • I jogged 3 miles for the first time the other day. I had been keeping it steady at 2 miles for a long time now.
  • Monkey & I went on our first hike of the season, 6.6 miles roundtrip. It was a steep hike, and I was tired. But good tired, like I wanted to keep going; not bad tired like I wanted to just fucking go home RIGHT NOW - which is what I have often felt. It was lovely - I kept up pace, and I was able to enjoy the entire hike. It felt fantastic in every way.
  • I'm maintaining my weight at in the 142/143 lb. mark. I am back down to a size 8 in most off-the-rack brands.
  • I'm not very often having to remind myself to exercise; I just do it. It's starting to become a habit. Brilliant!
I have some new stats, but Cody still needs to email them to me (CODY!).

I hope this lovely season of almost-officially-summer also finds you and yours hopeful, happy & healthy.


meow + meow = ????

We got a new cat last week. His name is Sebastian, and he's about 1-yr. old. He's a total lover. Our original cat, Turtle, is also a lover. But she's been an only cat for a few years, and we're not sure how the whole thing's gonna go down. It makes me sad and anxious to see our baby all stressed out & hiding under the couch and hissing and growling. She's never been like that; up to this point, she's always been very calm & present & playful. New people don't bother her; even kids running around chasing her doesn't stress her out. She loves it. But she's not loving this. Yet. (If ever.) I know it's bound to be a difficult transition under all but the very best of circumstances, but Monkey & I are losing our shit a little.

We brought Sebastian home. We set the carrier down in the living room so that Turtle could sniff around and recognize a new presence. She hissed a bit -- she obviously wasn't thrilled, but she didn't freak out. We closed up our bedroom & sequestered Sebastian in there, and let Turtle have the run of the rest of the place. She was very wary and standoffish, but seemed okay.

Monkey let both of them roam the whole apt. for a few minutes, and it didn't go so great. Sebastian was just trotting around exploring, and Turtle ran him into a corner behind the toilet, hissing & growling. Stressful! Monkey separated them and put him back in the room. We found out later (too late) that it was probably too early to do that, but we'd taken the advice of one of the gals at our pet store. Anyway, Turtle took most of the day to recover to her "normal" self, but no major damage done. We hope.

Kept them separate. Turtle seems recovered and calm. No hissing through the door. Progress appears to have been made.

Accidental encounter. Sebastian got out. He's ready to go exploring. We spend time & play with him a considerable amount, but he's still mostly kitten, so he's EAGER! He snuck out between Monkey's legs and Turtle was the one who got backed up this time, under the couch. He was put back in the room and she recovered quite nicely. That evening & night, we switched them. She got the room, and he got the rest of the apartment. For the first 1/2-hr. or so, she crouched and hissed at everything she sniffed that smelled like him. But she kept exploring, and by an hour into it, she was calmed down and fine and kicking it on the bed with me while I was reading before bed. She actually seemed quite curious about his smell.

We switched it up again, and let Turtle have the run of the place. Our den is spearated from the living room by french doors, with windows. We closed the doors and put him in there instead of in the bedroom, so they could see each other. It took an hour or so, but then Turtle finally seemed to be getting used to it. Throughout the day, the hissing became less frequent, and they were watching each other more than anything.

Another accidental encounter, in the bedroom. He backed her into the closet. He's definitely more physically aggressive than her now. We separated them quickly, and she recovered instantly. Very soon, they were hanging out by the french doors again, watching each other and playing some footsy through the gap.

Much of the same. We decided on Saturday to remove physical barriers bewteen them on Monday. We are feeling quite hopeful. Eager, even.

Oh boy. Lost my eagerness almost instantly. Rough morning. I am exhausted with anxiety. Turtle has been crouched under the couch all morning, making horrible alien sounds from her insides. It makes me want to sob like a kid. At first, it seemed that Sebastian wanted to sniff around her and maybe even play, but she was having NONE of IT, so now he just chases and bats at her when she growls. Monkey & I are worse for the wear. Later that same day: The progress made in 12 hours in unbelievable. It's like a miracle. They aren't buddies by a long stretch, but they're both cautiously walking around the whole apartment. They can sleep in the same room, groom themselves and eat in front of each other. Although there's also still hissing & growling & chasing & whatnot, it has lessened to the point that has given me a new-found hope.

We decided to stick with our plan of a few weeks ago and go hiking today. We figured the cats aren't showing any signs of killing each other, and it would probably be better for them to sort some things out for themselves for awhile without the freak energy of their nervous-nellie parents around. When we got back, everyone was alive. Not only that, but one was asleep on the couch, and the other on the bed. What a g-d relief!

Even better. Tentative advances interspersed with hissing & chasing jags around the apartment that seem fairly harmless, incredibly short-lived, and easily recovered from. I'm finally feeling like I can let down my slightly manic "let's all be best friends forever!" guard.

TODAY 6/14
More of the same. They aren't curling up on the couch grooming each other like in my fantasy world, but I can see that in a few months, they might be. Turtle seems to grudgingly accept Sebastian, but ONLY on HER TERMS, by god. He seems okay with that.

I am pre-emptively calling this thing a qualified success.



For those of you keeping score at home ...

  • I started out the detox at 148.6 lbs.
  • I hit my lowest weight on Day 11, at 138.2 lbs.
  • The morning of Day 14, right before I ate my first proper breakfast in 2 weeks, I weighed in at 139.8 lbs.
  • I have gained weight slowly but steadily since then, and I seem to be evening out around the 142/143 lbs mark.


morning has broken

Now I know what it was. It was like the last week of school after exams have already happened, and the professor is still giving you homework.

That's what yesterday was.

I have eaten, and the sun is shining. However, in a cruel twist of fate, as I was driving home from rehearsal last night ... I swallowed, and I knew - without question - that, all of a sudden, I was sick. And yep. I woke up with a full-blown cold this morning. Ain't it a bitch?